Chewing my keyboard

Monday, November 22, 2004

Femme de R's diary

Day 1: Sites 2. Replies 0. Views of profile 62

Given my current drought of fanciable chaps whom I see regularly and have not previous foisted my attention upon, I have decided once again to step unto the breach... Sally forth into the unknown... Take up internet dating...

I did try this approximately 2-years ago and had exactly zero success. It was around that time I wrote this article. I terminated the exercise after I generally got bored of having no success and after I changed my photo to a very pretty picture of me cut from a group photo on my camping holiday to Chamonix. In the general oddness of the world, after spending 10 days in a spider-infested tent with 3 changes of clothing and broken glasses, I actually look significantly nicer when photographed than I do when I dress up. After changing my photo, I received around 3-4 replies from guys significantly older than the age range I was looking for (think 47-55). This perplexed me rather until a helpful chap sent me a rather rude/jokey e-mail enquiring whether I was *really* 23 as I was claiming... Apparently, I looked around 14. Given my 'spotty pubescent lad' set of hobbies (they remain NOT concordant with common interests of 24-25 year old gals), I guess I looked like I was a slightly precocious 12-15 year old tomboy spacecraft and Dungeons and Dragons type trying to look grown-up by getting an 'older' boyfriend (and I was attracting kiddie-lovers like blowflies). I was pretty urcked out at that point.

Yellow Duck and Lazyliberal have been trying to 'de-niche' my profile, making the entirely fair comment that the number of sarcastic, hill-walking, telescope-wielding geniuses with a keen interest in geopolitics and Neil Gaiman graphic novels is not exactly huge.

However, with my list of requirements being reduced to sarcastic, non-evangelical, newspaper-reading graduates (with hair) who like scenery, I have currently received exactly no replies (apparently in the first couple of days, women posting profiles get upwards of 200 replies, ahem... but then PhD students who prefer painting on silk to clubbing are automatically niche esp. if they combine that with political activism).

For the delight and delectation of readers who are used to online dating diaries of this nature then I will be recording my success (or more likely otherwise) at regular intervals. In the meantime, please feel free to laugh at this although seeing her ads, well... I was worried about putting I was an 'unconventional thinker' for fear I would get replies of the 'I'm an unconventional thinker - I enjoy orgies involving multiple corpses and sacrifice a goat during the conjunction of the three black moons at the time of the Feast of Ogg' variety. I mean, I'm a Liberal and each to their own and all (apart from the corpses and the cruelty to goats issue).

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