Chewing my keyboard

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Give me alpha; give me omega...

I'm having a real time with myself at the moment. I'm supposed to be preparing a poster to give at a conference in Rome and I'm flying out a week today and I was just completely stumped last week, my mind distracted. It's the first time in years my emotions have affected my work (possibly nothing to be proud of). I initially had a sense of loss, then I fretted about the superficially puritan appearance of my lifestyle (yet I deny myself nothing. I have a very long Period 3 gene and I was raised on vegetables, in part because I was hyper as a child). Now, an entirely irrational fear I've been forgotten is creeping across my mind like breeze-blown cobwebs brushing against a wall.

I'm now writing the poster, eating smoked salmon sandwiches with added vanilla lipbalm and trying to disguise myself as a toothpick for no apparent reason. Black is a slimming colour so if you're a pallid, slender woman with badly chapped hands and lips then the effect is striking for all the wrong reasons (especially if you also have a very BIG hat). I'm doing the usual fretting that since I'm trained as a Geographer but doing the work of an Applied Physicist I've probably missed something a first year physics undergraduate could have picked up and am going to look like an unmitigated idiot.


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