Chewing my keyboard

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

It shouldn't happen to a canvasser...

Felt the need to share what has been described as 'the funniest story on [the LDYS forums]'. Not sure if quite hits the height of the chap who canvassed a half-naked woman, who had a naked man standing behind her chained the bannister to which he remarked "Erm, I see you're liberal then". I should really have said that but it took me a while to catch on...

A friend and I were canvassing a block of scary flats (they didn't look scary, but the first guy we met told us that none of the other parties dare canvass said flats and the second person we met told us to "watch out for the druggies in this block"). Most people were out and the people we did get were very pleasant. However, one was just a little TOO keen to make my acquaintance...

I rang the doorbell of an elderly man who seemed to have a very large tongue (he kept licking his lips all the time). I gave him my spiel and he said: "Have you come to whip me?"

Assuming he meant 'whipping' in the parliamentary sense as in encouraging him to vote a certain way, I responded:

"Well, only metaphorically speaking. I'm calling on behalf of the Liberal Democrats and wondered whom you were considering voting for in the general election?"

"Oh" said the man "I thought you'd come to whip me. I'm expecting a whipping in 5 minutes"

Realising I had been mistaken for a dominatrix despite the fact I was wearing flat shoes and a big red anorak, I persisted. "Well, since I'm not the person you were expecting. Are you considering voting Lib Dem?"

"Have you brought your own whip?" [to which my friend shouted from the neighbouring door that was situated slightly around a pillar "I left it at home"]

"Erm, well, thank you for your time anyway" And made a swift exit.

"You've got nice tights" He shouted to my retreating back. Friend and I made a swift run at the door leading off the landing, my friend only pausing to remark "Thank you" in response to the remark about the tights (he was wearing slacks).