Chewing my keyboard

Friday, April 15, 2005

The man, the cat and the guitar

Slightly outdated since I was canvassing Wednesday and this is Friday but...

I was canvassing some flats. I arrived at the bottom of a flight of stairs leading up to a door halfway up a wall (Bristle is a bit like this) and there was a man, a guitar and a cat at the top of the stairs on this very narrow wrought-iron railed landing.

I enquired if he was an occupant of any of the flats I had listed since I had to canvass them. He said he was attending a guitar lesson at the middle flat. After some debate over which was the middle flat and where the garden flat was, I asked him if it was his cat and he said he hadn't brought a cat with him.

I then rang the top flat bell (bear in mind we were both standing on a narrow landing at the top of a flight of stairs in front of this door) and a bad tempered elderly bloke opened the door and demanded of the bloke with the guitar what he wanted. Guitar bloke told him it was I who wanted him.

Just as I was about to speak to him, the cat ran into the building. The elderly man excused himself, shouting "I've got to remove a cat that I don't own" back towards the door. Me and guitar bloke then waited patiently on this little landing whilst there was much banging and shouting from inside the building as the elderly guy (and evidently his housemate) attempted to chase the cat out (it was a very fine, black cat with large, lantern green eyes).

After about 5 minutes, he managed to get the cat out of the door and barked "Yes?" at me. I repeated my canvassing spiel at which point he shouted "Green" and slammed the door, leaving the gent and his guitar standing forlornly on the doorstep!

This probably isn't half as amusing written as it was happening (in the great tradition of slapstick) but I was unable to stop giggling for about 20 minutes afterwards which was very bad since I then had to canvass someone called "A. Spitterwick (Jnr)" and someone else with the surname "Pasta" (fortunately, both were out).

The only other amusing incident of the evening was the slightly inebriated chap who was leaning right over my canvass sheet breathing alcohol fumes all over me. He was very keen on voting Lib Dem and I managed to foist a poster off on him which was rather cool.

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